More random thoughts or something
Alright, this is probably going to be the main theme of my tumblr. Me, giving my opinions on random, usually pointless, junk. So I guess that’s just how it is. Now, to begin… Drama, specifically, the middle school kind. I don’t know what it is about Drama, but it annoys me. I can’t feel sympathetic for most people in my school who are having drama, but that’s probably because I’m an asshole. Another reason for this may be that to me, it seems as though these people are looking for drama. I’m not going to name anyone, but there are a few girls specifically in my school who can’t go a week without “Losing” a friend, and then making up the very next day. It seems, from my perspective, that alot of people seek out drama, to quell their boredom.
Another thing I want to talk about is myself. I’m going to tell how I act, and why I act like that, so, here I go. I pretty much have two different “Modes” let’s call them. One of them is me around my friends and people I know, and the other is around strangers. When I am around my friends, I talk often. I’m sarcastic, rude, and from what I can tell, extremely annoying. I don’t expect anyone to like me because of this, and I don’t try to get people to like me. I don’t have ANY idea why, but I seem to have alot of “Friends”, despite the fact that they call me stupid things (That almost always don’t make any sense) Now, when I’m around strangers, as in, during class, I’m extremely quiet, kind, and considerate. This may be the reason I get my friends, because I’m nice to them at first. To strangers I make sure to be extremely polite and make the best impression I can. Now, to explain why I act so different. The real me, is the shy, calm, quiet me. The reason I act so strange to my friends is simply because I made jokes like that, I would say things like “I’m going to kill you” But I made them just a bit too much, and now I’ve sort of trapped myself into a position where I am expected to act like this to them.
Next up, maturity. I have a question in my head almost at all times, that question is, is everyone immature, or am I too serious? I’m in the 8th grade, at the age of 14, and it seems in every of my classes I am the only one who takes things so seriously. Everyone else in the class-room either goofs off, doesn’t pay attention, or makes stupid jokes. The fact that it is EVERYONE but me gives me the feeling that I’ve simply grown up too quickly, and that I should take some time and fuck around like a normal middle school kid, but then the other side of me says that it’s just because of the school I’m in. My family has issues with this school, because my brother HATED going here. One of the major reasons was that there was a bomb threat, and they accused him of it. No joke, my brother was accused of threatening to bomb the school. When they did find the actual person, there was no “Sorry”. They literally said “Don’t threaten to bomb the school,” and sent him on his way. There was not a SINGLE apology for accusing him of trying to BLOW UP THE SCHOOL. There are other problems, mostly bullying and such, but that is the big one. Back to the point I was making (if there even is a point, to any of this) I feel like the things that I’m thinking and feeling are things I shouldn’t be worrying about at my age, which, along with other things, makes me not willing to share my feelings with anyone. Not even my closest friends have any idea what is happening inside my head.
Anyway, that’s all, shows over. I want to make it clear, I don’t want, or expect, any sympathy, at all. I just felt like putting my thoughts somewhere, and this is where they ended up. I’m probably gonna realize later that half of this is stupid, but whatever.